As we know, relationship woes can strike early in life.
After happening upon a diary entry from when she was 7 years old, Madie Cardon, now 16, uncovered the details of a long-forgotten unrequited love.
It's a wild ride from start to finish, beginning with 7-year-old Cardon relaying the heartbreak of discovering that her crush, Riley, was chasing another girl on the playground. And not just any other girl: Riley was chasing Jessica.
"She is such a player!" Cardon wrote in her diary. "She hugs at least five boys every day! I am so mad at her."
As any woman scorned would, Cardon formulated a plan for revenge: "I think I will tell Riley her secret. She wears pull ups! After he finds out he won’t like her anymore."
Cardon also decided to put herself out there anyway, and stayed up all night to make a Valentine for Riley.
"Before Riley got to school I put it in his desk. When he got to school he looked in his desk he found my box. I wrote anonymous on it so he wouldn’t know it was from me. Right when he looked at it [he threw] it away. I am still crying. I have depression."
As if that weren't heartbreaking enough, the kicker comes when Riley confirmed that he did, indeed, like Jessica.
"I just remember having meetings with my friends after school on how to get revenge on Jessica, and on Valentine’s Day I remember just going home and bawling," Cardon now tells Buzzfeed.
So what's a spurned woman to do? Swear off men forever, of course.
"I am done with boys. I want to kill all of them," Cardon wrote, along with a graphic illustrated depiction.
Cardon found the story hilarious and tweeted images of her old diary. Obviously, the world loved the relatable saga just as much, and it now has over 9,000 retweets (at the time of writing) and was even picked up by popular internet meme source Common White Girl.
found my diary from when I was 7 I'm dying😂😂💀 pic.twitter.com/M57wJhsmFd
— мadie (@madiecardon) May 16, 2016
Though Cardon tells Buzzfeed that she eventually moved away from where she went to elementary school, the power of the internet means that people have been tagging Riley and Jessica in Cardon's post and putting them in touch.
Cardon has since reached out to Jessica to catch up — perhaps in hopes of smoothing over any bad blood over planning to out her for wearing Pull-Ups.
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